You watch
The latest Michael Myers movie went through many "working
titles" before its release this past Friday. Way back in 1999,
hard on the heels of 1998's Halloween H20: 20 Years
Later, the 8th film in the series was called Halloween:
Evil Never Dies and then, Halloween H2K (this,
presumably, was the plan for a 2000 release date). In 2000,
someone thought to combine the two, thusly: Halloween H2K:
Evil Never Dies. By 2001, the "2K" was clearly out, and so,
the name mutated again, from the rather perfunctory
Hall8ween or Halloween 8, to Halloween:
Homecoming or Halloween: The Homecoming, to
Halloween: MichaelMyers.com. Now, at last, the title has
been fixed and perhaps less importantly, the film is in
theaters, for a minute anyway. And so you have it: Halloween:
Resurrection.
After all that time and wrangling: resurrection? Please. Since
when is that news in a slasher film? Maybe there's
something to be said for an unadorned, unclever, decidedly
uncompelling promotional tactic. And what does it matter what
it's called, anyway? You know what you're getting in this flick,
whether you want it or not.
For one thing, you're getting yet another appearance by
Michael's sister, Laurie Strode (played one more time by
indefatigable Sprint pitchperson, Ms. Jamie Lee Curtis, suddenly
looking very, very tired indeed). Lucky for her, she only has
about 5 minutes to endure, as she's locked up in an asylum
following the discovery that, when she thought she decapitated
her brother, she had actually wasted a paramedic, with
conveniently crushed vocal chords so he couldn't tell her who he
was, as well as three kids. One nurse tells another this story,
to occasion flashbacks to the previous film, and catch you up,
in case you want to be caught up, with where the action begins
here. And begin it does -- cue John Carpenter's theme music and
stalker cam, a few shadowy shots of Michael (Brad Loree) in
infamously ooky white-face mask, another few of the knife in
silhouette and glinting in the light, and a few more of the
surveillance monitors, or more specifically, the monitors in
rooms where no one is watching. Michael has come to kill Laurie
once and for all, which he does -- big knife ripping right
through her and a magnificent slo-mo face-up plummet from a roof
to boot.
Her final gesture is a splendid one -- she kisses Michael on
his mask-mouth and growls, "See you in hell!" Tres nice
exit. So, Laurie better hope against hope that no one comes up
with a way to implant an alien baby in her so she'll return as
Laurie 8, or 9 or 10, with acid for blood and a hankering for
basketball. Oh wait, wrong franchise.
Assuming that Laurie is, in fact, finally done with the whole
Michael Myers business, you know that someone else will have to
pick up the slack. Not just the
nubile-young-bodies-ripe-for-slaughter slack, either. Someone
has to be in charge, bring weight, and make you want Mike to get
his in the end. And that someone is -- get ready -- Busta
Rhymes.
Busta's already proved he has chops, in the wildly
gesticulating department, as well as the mesmerizing performance
department (check Hype Williams' video for "Put Your Hands Where
My Eyes Could See") and in subtler drama (see Gus Van Sant's
Finding Forrester). And he essentially carries this movie
-- his every appearance on screen produces yelps of delight.
When all is said and done, Busta does come out of this formula
movie smelling fairly rose-like. There are reasons.
First off, the man is charisma on wheels. Whether selling
Mountain Dew or dancing with digital elephants This despite his
role as Freddy, a nefarious some-kinda-media producer,
determined to cash in on the whole reality-tv-internet-cam
thing. Toward that end, he papers a local college, to solicit a
pack of Real World-er wannabes to spend Halloween night
in Michael Myers' childhood home, for a show he calls
Dangertainment. Catchy. Their adventures will be aired
live over the net via carefully placed cameras all over the
house and mini-cameras placed on the kids heads, ` la MTV's
Fear, itself sort of derived/ripped off from 1999's
internet-advertising phenom, The Blair Witch Project.
It's all very skritchy, mobile-framey, and zig-zaggy: great when
it comes time to confuse you about who's where and when the next
silhouette of a knife is going to be pointed at someone's
throat.
Second, Busta is a hard worker. He's been promoting the bejesus
out of this film, with appearances all over, and not only the
usual 106th & Park, Leno, and MTV beach thingies guest
shots, but also the more creative. The other night he showed up
on WWF Smackdown, dueting with The Rock on "Under the
Boardwalk." Seems folks just love Bussa Bus, wherever he goes.
Third, Busta makes sure that his guy, no matter how gnarly he
might appear at first, kicks ass. You see him early on watching
kung fu movies on tv in his motel room, alone (he's a serious
trash-tv producer, not screwing the contestants), and he
practices his moves while he watches, especially the eeiii-yahh
screeches. Even if Freddy is an ambitious, reckless entrepreneur
at first, when he learns the truth -- that Michael is still
living at home, in the basement, by eating live rats -- he does
the right thing, and saves that Last White Girl, for sure.
And fourth, Busta out-acts and out-spectacularizes Tyra Banks,
who plays Freddy's assistant, Nora. Okay, so the out-acting is
no biggie. And okay, so she doesn't have much time on screen:
Nora and Freddy exchange a few knowing glances while shooting
the kids' intro-confessionals; toast one another with wine when,
early on, it looks like the project is going well; and other
than that, Nora/Tyra has only one more-than-30-seconds scene, in
which she does not speak, but does slither-dance while making a
whipped-cream-and-coffee, and elaborate bit of nonsense so that
she doesn't see her camera-guy being harpooned by Michael, on
the very camera that camera dead-camera-boy has just that second
carefully placed by the stairwell... well, la-dee-da! You know
Miss Latte will be punished for this sexy display and
self-indulgence. But you don't even see her bloody horrible
death scene, just the considerable blood slick she leaves on the
floor, above which she dangles, so very pop-eyedly.
Of course, even without Nora's slaughter, there are more than
enough violences committed against young bodies -- all locked in
the house because they've signed their webcast contract. The
group Freddy assembles and instructs to "search for clues" (and
then endeavors to scare silly by planting various Michael
paraphernalia, like aggressively marked up coloring books, a
high chair with nasty leather restraints for baby Mike,
skeletons in the basement wall, first dead sister's hairbrush at
her now-cobwebby dressing table, etc.) consists of the kind of
fresh meat you're used to seeing in slasher flicks -- kids
looking for a break, ready to do anything to be the next Johnny
Depp or Josh Hartnett.
This crew consists of Last Girl Sara (Bianca Kajlich), tarty
literature major/impalee Donna (Daisy McCrackin),
bleached-blond-tv-star/decapitated girl Jen (Katee Sackhoff, who
is actually charming, as far as she goes),
boring-as-heck/throat-cut kid Bill (played by American
Pie cast member Thomas Ian Nicholas, apparently still
looking for that break), and gothic-affecting music major Jim
(Luke Kirby) -- I actually forget what happens to him, but he
deserves it because he comes on to Donna by saying, "You've got
great legs. What time do they open?"
The single character who seems sensible and un-irritating, and
has seen enough of these movies to know how not to act,
is Jen's bong-smoking buddy Rudy (Sean Patrick Thomas, who also
made Dracula 2000 before he blew up in Save the Last
Dance, and is apparently part of this equally old project
because the director Rick Rosenthal, aside from directing Sean
Penn's Bad Boys 19 years ago and Halloween 2 21
years ago, has recently done episodes for Thomas's tv series,
The District). Rudy works in the cafeteria down at the
college, which suggests that, unlike the other kids, he knows a
little something-something about the world. It also gives him a
"hook," which is that he's into food and nutrition, going so far
as to float the theory that Michael is murderous because of a
poor diet. Plus, Rudy knows his way around a knife drawer, which
comes in handy here, briefly, anyway.
You keep track of all these kiddies by way of Halloween:
Resurrection's major gimmick, that is, the cameras on their
heads, and the split-images on the computer screens, watched by
a bunch of kids at a Halloween party, wearing costumes and
laughing at the killings, because, like you (the presumed viewer
of this film, they've seen way too many slasher flicks, and know
how they all turn out. The one observer who takes the events
seriously is Sara's email-pal Myles (Ryan Merriman), who's
dressed like Vince Vega in Pulp Fiction: truly, a
meaningful costume. Myles sends Sara helpful messages on her
palm pilot like, "He's on the stairs!" and "GO NOW!" She plays
resourceful Last Girl just fine, slipping out half-open windows,
kicking Michael in the head, and, importantly, getting
interminably stuck under some debris just as the room is going
up in flames and Michael's sitting bolt upright from his
deadlike splay on the floor -- again.
All this takes place as multiple audiences watch -- Freddy, the
internet viewers, you. While Rhymes' Freddy is most fun to watch
(especially facing off against Michael) and makes a fine speech
at the end about the evils of invasive cameras, the kid
participants in Dangertainment surely have a sense of
what's at issue, long before Michael makes the scene. At first
they think maybe they'll just all stay together in one room,
unmoving, for the night; Jen, who aspires to stardom, reminds
them of their duty to a viewing "public." They dutifully decide
to "perform."
The film sets up questions about responsibility even as it
gives you what you paid for -- splatter and gook. It makes a
grim, grand metaphor out of reality tv and surveillance
technologies (both encroaching on daily experience by the
minute), which makes it timely and occasionally smart, almost in
spite of itself. After several frazzling and frustrating
moments, she takes off her head camera and points it at herself:
"You watch," she snarls, her face close and blurry in the frame.
"You watch!" It is what you've come to do, after all.
18 July 2002