The boy is back in town as roadie supreme Phil (Ron White) is set free from Planet Swift to hurl his old-as-the-hills bones all over the Staton-House Band and crew. We don’t exactly understand how or in what capacity he’s back in, but he’s sure wise and growly. Since no guest star can get away without a comeuppance, it’s Phil, backed by Bill (Luke Wilson) and Reg (Rafe Spall), who gets some certain missing items back from archivist Mike Finger (Ely Henry). He took off with Christopher House’s (Tanc Sade) iPad and Janine’s yearbook of band data, but it’s okay because gee golly gosh he loves them so and they can all share a moment basking in the reflected glory of the band. Although this subplot is rather weak, it’s just another reason for all of us to quietly reflect on the beauty and power of music. Which Bill seems to be doing a lot of lately.
Abby Van Ness (played by Rosanna Arquette, whose ties to rock ‘n’ roll come from the mom-rock giants Toto and their song dedicated to her) is a lauded, perfectionist photographer who is called upon to photograph the band for Vanity Fair. Because all strong women are more easily portrayed as bitchy, she has many demands, including complete silence when she meets the band so she can get a feel for them.
Naturally, film student/grip girl Kelly Ann (Imogen Poots) adores her. She carries her book like a bible, but in yet another chapter to the ongoing ode, “Never Meet Your Idols”, Van Ness absolutely destroys Kelly Ann and her work. Scoffing at a figurative parent that may have been the culprit who mistakenly encouraged Kelly Ann’s burgeoning artistic interests, Abby skewers the notion that anyone can be “good” at anything if they just believe in themselves. Well, Kelly Ann grew up in foster homes with her twin Wes (Colson Baker), so she never had that support system. I guess that shows you, Annie Lieb — I mean Abby Van Ness.
Speaking of strong women, though, Shelli (Carla Gugino) overhears this exchange and like the mama bear she is, tells Abby that any other mistreatment of her crew will earn her a camera up her ass. Which apparently Van Ness would enjoy as evidenced by her come-on response; then again, she’s had Mick Jagger up in her business, so there’s no accounting for taste.
Predictably, Van Ness’ concept for the photo is terrible, the band doesn’t cooperate, they destroy the set, the allotted time she gets is almost up, and Kelly Ann steps up and captures the moment (and, by extension, the feel of the band) perfectly. You got moxie, girl, and Van Ness knows it.
Meanwhile, Bill sees Christopher off the wagon and gets himself to an AA meeting, during which he confesses that Shelli makes him be the best version of himself and is scared where their relationship will go. Shelli is too busy avoiding her birthday and trying to get over cheating on her seemingly perfect husband — he set up a thoughtful, loving scavenger hunt for her day — to really do anything for the past two episodes.
It feels like this episode is another opportunity for Cameron Crowe to paint a caricature of a rock ‘n’ roll character (so far we’ve had the critic and the queen groupie) so he can lambast them by portraying them in the worst, most cartoonishly villainous way he possibly can. There’s comedy in the fact that Van Ness being so in love with herself that she forgets she’s there to capture the actual figures in the spotlight, but we never get whether these guest characters are supposed to present jarring reality, or are just head-in-the-sand portrayals of past vendettas. Van Ness seems to approve of Kelly Ann stepping up but is it because Kelly Ann is strong enough to deal with the pressure of the world she want to be invited into, or was it done on purpose to test her? If so, what’s the point of that? As for Bill and Shelli’s relationship, we already know they work only when they bounce off of each other but is it only within this worl,d or could they even cope in real life?
In another subplot, Wes is asked to join musical guest star Halsey on tour and it’s a great opportunity that he shouldn’t pass up; even his sister says so. Then again, she gave up film school for a year to stay on the tour, and Wes ultimately says no because of his nanny duties to the devil child and their emerging relationship.
We’re told repeatedly that there’s no place like home, but when home is the tornado rather than Kansas, there’s going to be collateral damage. In this case, it’s hard to tell if the bodies getting flung — the crew — are starting to doubt their own hype about the road life. Methinks they doth headbang too much.