Matt James: Apparently the new James Bond shenanigan Spectre is a bum-numbing 150 minutes long which co-incidentally also feels like the length of Sam “Danger’s My Middle Name” Smith’s “Writing’s on the Wall”. God it’s dull. It’s even more morosely joyless than Adele’s “Skyfawwww”. Remember when 007 themes were sleek ‘n’ saucy and draped in debonair derring-do? When they made you want to slip into a bulletproof tuxedo, infiltrate a clandestine underground lair and take down a variety pack of odd lookin’ ne’er-do-wells with just one expertly raised eyebrow? Smith’s sourpuss snoozefest would only inspire you to pop on your pyjamas, snuggle down with a blanket and catch up on Downton Abbey. The writing’s on the wall Jimbo but it quite clearly reads “Dear Sammy Mendes you really should’ve got Lana Del Rey to do this”. [Zzz/10]
Evan Sawdey: “Skyfall” may have finally been the Bond song to win an Oscar, but let’s be honest: none of the Daniel Craig-era themes have matched up with sentimental classics like “Goldfinger” or “Live and Let Die”. Yes, Jack White and Alicia Keys’ duet for Quantum of Solace remains the worst theme since “Die Another Day”, but the rest of the Craig efforts have been solid, worthy attempts. What’s interesting about “Writing’s on the Wall” is just how different it feels, using a string section co-written by one of Smith’s buddies in Disclosure, and favoring the symphony over any sort of rock pretenses. The problem is not so much the melody as it is the lack of progression in the melody, the whole thing feeling like a loop of itself. Still, most people have been remarkably harsh on the theme by itself, but let’s hold judgement until its true test: how well it fits in with Spectre‘s opening title sequence. [5/10]
Timothy Gabriele: John Barry’s scores to the Bond films were easily the best thing about the entire series. At this point, a well-executed Bond film is the only checkmark that needs to be met to sustain the franchise. There’s nothing new this perpetually dull relic of a series and main protagonist can teach us, and I suppose the same can be said for the Bond song. Adele was probably the most obvious choice for the last go around and likewise Sam Smith’s Grammy win made him a shoo-in to overlay what will inevitably be Spectre’s most impressive moment, its titles sequence. While, the execution on “Writing’s on the Wall” — the string swells and melismatic melodrama — is done fine, one can’t shake the feeling that the producers may as well have rolled out Shirley Bassey again for the lead. Bassey’s Bond tunes, as well as the rest of her catalogue, wipe the floor with this pip. But alas, we’re in karaoke music culture, which when matched with remix/remake/relaunch film culture produces just enough of a narco-haze to glide us off pleasantly into sleep. To quote a far superior ‘60s franchise that foresaw this very complacency, “Be seeing you” at the next one. [5/10]
Dustin Ragucos: Sam Smith’s “Writing’s on the Wall” has the common flair for a song that graces the James Bond film series. When Smith utters the lines “I’m prepared for this / I never shoot to miss”, there’s the appreciation for the idea of him being the new musical herald for 007’s ventures. Despite the video featuring Bond loving possible partners, the song makes him seem alone in his goal to conquer Christoph Waltz’s character. It’s a shame that the conclusion of the track is a letdown. [7/10]
Paul Duffus: Has there ever been a more forgettable, watered down Bond theme than this? The best Bond songs set the tone for their movies. Shirley Bassey’s “Goldfinger”, Carly Simon’s “Nobody Does It Better”, hell, even Sheryl Crow’s “Tomorrow Never Dies” all knew what to do. They packed their tunes with drama, dangerous, and a sliver of seduction.
These are movies where wrist watches have quartz movement and built-in lasers, everyone drives Aston Martins and often off bridges, heroes and villains wear black polo necks like it’s normal, people drink Martini and not because it’s all that’s left in the cupboard, and women have names like “Ivana Fukalot” with not an eyebrow raised — unless you’re Roger Moore of course. “Writing’s on the Wall” is lumbering and empty, while Sam Smith sounds like he’s singing through a vocoder even when he isn’t. Fingers crossed that this mess isn’t an indicator of what to expect from the film itself. [1/10]
John Garratt: I’ve long thought that Madonna’s “Die Another Day” was the worst Bond song. I just now realized that was over ten years ago. I suppose it was time for another one to come along and steal that foil crown. In all fairness, I never got around to hearing any of the other Craig-era Bond anthems. But if the writing truly is on the wall, then I won’t bother. [3/10]
Kevin Korber: There’s not a whole lot you can do with Bond themes. Try too hard, and you end up with some garbage like what Jack White and Alicia Keys shat out for Quantum of Solace. Safer seems to be better for Bond themes, but this is almost too safe. Sam Smith’s voice has a lot of qualities, but “cinematic” isn’t one of them, and the bland orchestral backing does him no favors at all. Is it too late to have Adele do this again? [4/10]
Lee Zimmerman: With only two albums to misname thus far, Sam Smith has become one of the leading lights of the current singer/songwriter scene. I recently caught him twice, two nights in a row, and his music was stunning. This particular song illustrates one of the many reasons why. [5/10]