Babe, I dig your sound! No really, I’m not just saying that. It’s so — how should I put this — original! What do you call that: neo-new wave/no wave quasi-electropunk hip-hop smoothed out on the R&B tip? Whatever you are, baby, I love you — your sound’s so chemical, it burns! It’s so on fire, it smokes! You’re on your way to stardom, baby — TRL, format radio, teen movie soundtracks, Now, That’s What I Call Music 52. Or are we on number 53? Whatever, babe, you catch my drift.
Babe, you’re so right — the real, the organic, the believable, it’s all over. There’s nothing like working totally within the hyper-real — it’s so 2002. That album title, Drawings and Garbage Structures, it’s so hip, so now! Who did your cover art? It’s got that really tremendous, eighth grade desk graffiti feel to it. How utterly down to earth! And those masks you wear on the album insert — love them! They’re so garage-sale, Halloween chic. Are they Marc Jacobs or D&G?
No, trust me, sweetie, don’t sweat that your sound is overproduced. Don’t think of it as overproduction — think of it as toying with the novelty of artifice. That’s so postmodern. No, no, it’s not passé — it’s like, post-passe. A complete necessity these days. Anyway, everyone is doing passé — it’s the new au currant! Well, yeah, some people may be troubled by the how prefab Rick Roberts’ vocals sound, but that’s just jealousy. It really takes something to sound so completely robotic. The hokey song content? Not to worry. Personally, I love songs about dead fruit flies, murder-suicide, and dancers with missing toes. It’s like a sci-fi Where the Wild Things Are but trippier! Genius.
Really — you’re on to something. Has anyone ever told you that you sound a little bit like Devo playing Alien Ant Farm covers? No, consider that a compliment. Especially on “Rat or Mole?” I love the bass line — did you actually lift that from the Pixies, or are you just giving props? Unbelievable. “Royal Taster of Food”? Explain to me — what does the song have to do with the title? Not much? Oh, that’s cool. Anyway, I love the lyrics: “You call yourself an artist? / That doesn’t look like me at all.” That’s so poetic. I’ve felt that so many times, really, I have. And “Greasy” — I’m way into those irksome parallel vocals and the freakish guitar lines. Stellar. Really, I’m not just saying that. I like what you’re doing — it’s like in film, when something goes straight to video, but it’s music. It works.
Now, just between you and me, I have to admit I don’t really think I’d listen to it, but listening is over, anyway, right? And you’re right — everyone needs a shtick these days, and cartoon theme song is as good as any. No, it’s true, babe, you’re so original. Hey, can you pass me some brie?