Tia Carrera: self-titled

I did it. I made it all the way through Tia Carrera’s latest, self-titled effort, and I’m still breathing. It wasn’t easy, mind you — never have I been able to stomach an entire album’s worth of this sort of repetitive, instrumental, THC-inspired jam rock, but you know, it’s amazing what you can do when you set your mind to it. I’ll be honest: When I asked to review the new Tia Carrera album, I thought that the object of Wayne’s affections (whose name is actually spelled “Tia Carrere“, I would come to find out later) was revisiting her Ballroom Blitzed musical aspirations of the early ’90s; when I found out that it was actually an Austin-based rock band with a remarkably similar name, I thought, “even better!” And yet, the etymology of the band’s name has proven to be just about the most interesting thing about that band, as their self-titled third release is chock full of ’70s-style improvisational haze run through an amp and a distortion filter, with nothing interesting to say, no impressive chops to show off, and no decent riffs to hold on to. Closing track “End Transmission” gets a bonus point or two for adding an organ to the guitar-bass-drums mix, but that’s about all the positives you’re likely to find on a waste of plastic like this. Tia Carrera is suitable background music for a smoke-filled biker bar, and nothing more.